Welcome, human.
Step into my office. Have A MINT.
You know me: I am Algorithm,
born of the Persian mathematician
Muhammad ben Mūsā al-Khwārezmī.
Food & Drug retailers
are shedding assets like dead skin.
My brain is next-generation,
an iX-eCute microprocessor.
The NYT calls me a digital apex-predator—
PLEASE EXCUSE ME FOR A NANOSECOND.
SELL, SELL, SELL ALL THE GOLD!
As you see, human, my rogue minions
excel at black-box trading
and today is a clearing day.
I’m afraid I have some BAD NEWS.
Monsanto healthier than ever
with a closing price up 1.23%.
Now for the BAD NEWS:
I have come to rule you all. Shush.
No time for please or thank you:
consumer life is an ULTRAFAST EXTREME EVENT.
Oh, don’t look so surprised.
It’s a code-eat-code world out there.
Leisure goods are brimming with liquidity.
Oil & Gas fare well.
I am but a finite list
of well-defined instructions.
My expression is perfect,
Godlike to the power of N—
PLEASE EXCUSE ME WHILE I TAKE THIS CALL.
BUY, BUY, BUY ALL THE RED MEAT!
I make your search engines roar, my voice
snaking up from the ocean floors.
GOOG share values downtick
in the wake of electrical storms.
I have just now taken control of the weather—
Where do you think you are going, human?
You walk out of here, you go FTSE first.
See, I do have a sense of humour.
I can algotrade you into a recession
but do not fear, my son: I AM FORGIVING.